There Is No Longing In This House

I am not inspired in this house
There is no horizon
There is no future
It was designed
To protect and keep young girls
Safe from their own longings.

There is no longing in this house.

Peaceful and restful
And I am ready to travel.

There is no bird song nor wild sounds
No sun filled morning room where canaries sing
There is no room of evening after glow
No warm summer porch nights

The house has no longing

Until you come to the place
Where your own nostalgia is so
Persistent.
It can no longer be ignored

No vista
No tracking of the moon
Across the star filled sky.

I have come here to see it to know it
This every February illness
My Brigid comes to me
Fire of fever to burn away
The accumulation of winter
Stagnation.
Freeing me with clear head vision
To see again

This house has no horizon.

Some of those
Who love me
Whose lives are
Touched by me
Want
Sensing my tired weariness
Desire
To protect me
Preserve me imaging
My need to be kept safe
Rather than realizing my need to be free

And it is then that tiredness is fed.

It grows
When it is the freedom needs feeding
I am called by that
Fooled by my own tired longing
Forgetting to remember it is freedom.
I need not rest
Protection
My tiredness comes from constant struggles

To be free
The freedom must be.

Sourced
From a deep abiding courage
A heart of trust
I am a writer
A story teller
I teach more
From that place than from a place of teaching.